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Most frequent questionsAre Russian women from different parts of Russia different? The differences among Russian women are not associated with the geography of Russia, but with the size of the town they grew up in. In big cities like St. Petersburg and Moscow, or other big Russian cities, women are more outgoing, are better-educated, have a better self esteem, might have a career, and have better sense of control of their lives. In small places, women are associated with a slower and more stagnant lifestyle. However, there are still a lot of similarities among all Russian women. They are family-oriented and warm-hearted women who believe that taking care of their family and the house is their 1st job. Why do so many Russian women want to marry a Western man? 1. Being more than just a housewife Russian women grew up in an environment where the main duty of a wife is considered to be a good housewife - to take care of her husband, children, and the house. Even though this image of a woman is changing over time in Russian culture, it is still very common. A successful career woman still seems odd in many parts of Russia. Many Russian women have difficulty finding a husband who shares the idea that a woman is not just a housewife. In Russia men are usually annoyed by women who want to be more than just a housewife, to have a career, to be educated. So, women want to find a Western man who would support their views. 2. Differences in standard of living Another reason why Russian women want to marry a Western man is the differences in standard of living between Russia and the West. The average standard of living in the West is much higher than the one in Russia. More than that, Russian people see life in the west as close to paradise as it might be. Western movies that are broadcasting on Russian TV these days portray life in Western countries in pink colors and belittle many of their problems. Later on, some Russian women may be disappointed as they face reality that is far away from their high expectations. In other words, they might find out that not everyone has a butler, especially if they end up marrying a butler (but thankfully, even a butler has a much higher standard of living than they had back home). They expect to start a new life in paradise, and instead, they face a somewhat difficult challenge to bridge between the image of the West from the movies and the West as it is. However, in general, Russian women are very adjustable, they have adjusted to even more severe conditions back home. What might go wrong in the first face-to-face conversation? After corresponding with a Russian woman for a while, you finally reach a milestone and you meet each other face to face. During conversation, you might ask her about herself, about Russia, about what she likes and what she enjoys. To your disappointment, you might hear too many answers of "I don‘t know," and "I am not sure." It might sound like she has no opinion on many topics. More than that, you may notice that she is not at ease - she laughs too much at inappropriate times, or doesn‘t smile at all, taking every question too seriously. Obviously, she is stressed and confused, and is probably still struggling with the English language. There is another explanation to her behavior - for many decades, individuality was strongly discouraged and condemned in the Soviet Union, and so was having a free conversation with Westerners. Many people were afraid to express themselves freely, and this fear is still common today. Since you might be the first Western man whom she meets in person, she will be very confused and unsure of what she should say. Russian people want to know what is expected from them, and behave according to those expectations - without this knowledge, they feel like a fish out of water. On the other hand, it may happen that when you ask a Russian woman, whom you have just met, a personal question, she will tell you her whole story, including details that for a Westerner might sound way too personal. This complete openness may confuse you. During the Soviet time, the concept of "privacy" did not exist. We were supposed not to have secrets from our people. Everything belonged to the "Soviet society," including the individual‘s soul, thoughts, and dreams. Again, those social expectations are changing now, but many people are still not sure where the line is between what is private and what is not. 1. Family values It looks like Russian women were raised to be wonderful housewives. It looks like they were born with the destiny to take care of every member of the family. One of our clients wrote ue not long ago: "You know, I had read many women‘s profiles in online dating services before I addressed to yours, and when I read profiles of Western women, I found that many of them described themselves as a person who is fun to be with and who is looking for fun. Russian women, on the other hand, tend to write in their profiles all their traits and talents as a housewife, like cooking and sewing, etc. It sounds like they are looking for a job as a housekeeper, not for a date." Yes, this client is right. The ability to take care of the house and the family is considered to be the most important quality of a woman in Russia. If you read our answer to the question "Why do so many Russian women want to marry a Western man?" you already know why they emphasize those talents so much. 2. Memories from the past Marriage with a Russian woman (or any foreign woman), will introduce you to a whole new culture. But that will come at the expense of not sharing the same past. You will be able to tell her with great nostalgia about events from your past, but even if she will enjoy listening to your retelling of those events, most likely she will not feel any nostalgia toward them. 3. Cultural differences For a Russian woman, adjusting to the new culture will take time. During this time, you might face some awkward incidents with her. For example, in Russia people more directly can express their opinions about different things. If they do not like something they can just say "I don't like it". For a Westerner, such an answer might sound rude. What one should say is something like, "It is nice" (if you are not sure) or "I like it very much" (if you like it), or "It looks gorgeous" (if you like it very much). Criticizing someone (or being too straightforward) is considered to be bad manners. It is different in Russia. To be straightforward is considered to be good manners. Not being straightforward is considered as being "phony", and Russians don‘t like to sound phony. If there is something small that they think may be improved, they will tell you that without hesitation. So, if you didn‘t avoid a marriage with a Russian woman, there is a big chance that you will run into what might be considered an embarrassing moment. Just take it with a smile and enjoy it. How to avoid a scammer? If you are corresponding with a very attractive woman (judging by the pictures she has sent you), and everything she tells you about herself sounds too good and somewhat out of your league, and it looks very odd that she has fallen for you, check it twice. Make sure it's not "very odd" (somewhat odd is OK, because of course there are many reasons that people are attracted to each other). If she is in a rush to get some money from you, it's a red flag. On the one hand, and in almost all cases, it might be a legitimate and honest request as in the case that this woman really likes you and is determined to build a strong long-time relationship, but she is not able to pay for the visa or airline ticket to come to your country to see you. On the other hand, don't forget - drifters want your money, and they want it fast. So "rush" can be a clue, which will help you to expose the drifter's true identity. Make sure that you have her valid phone number and her home address (not a post office box number) in Russia. And have several phone conversations with her that you initiate to verify the number. Try to get family pictures from her. If you are able to get only a couple of pictures of her or her family, you cannot be sure that she didn't just cut them out of a magazine and scan them into the computer. However, if from time to time she sends you new pictures where you can see her surrounded by her family and friends, there is little chance that she is a scammer. Scammers in Russia don't want to involve their families and/or friends in their schemes - it increases the chance to be exposed and it can ruin not only their life, but also the lives of their loved ones. If you can, travel to Russia, and visit her in her home before you invite her to visit you in your country and stay with you. However, if she suggests a Russian travel agency to arrange your trip to Russia, do research about this agency to make sure that it is a legitimate traveling business and they are not reported as scammers. And the best advice - if you feel that something is not right, trust your senses! |
